Over 40,000. That’s how many unread emails I had in one of my email accounts. The other trails far behind with a mere 1700+ but… OVER 40-damn-thousand. It’s a bad habit that never really went checked. I would log into my email account and click on the emails I was interested in, skipping over the others and paying them no mind. Never deleting anything. And there they sat, just piling up. Stacking. It was kind of like this subconscious burden that I carried with me for so long. Knowing that I had to eventually get in there and perform a major clean-up, but I knew it would be daunting and tedious, so I kept putting it off.

Two days ago I finally made the decision to declutter my life, and I wanted to start there. Well technically, I had started minimizing and cleaning out my closet prior, but I wanted to tackle every aspect of my life and I knew that my virtual space was just as important as my physical space.

I couldn’t do it.

I sat there, sifting through emails, unsubscribing from companies, sorting and deleting. This lasted all of an hour. I started deleting but I was only able to do 50 or 100 at a time. My chest tightened. It was a task so overwhelming that I was afraid I would never get through it and I dreaded starting. Nick saw that I was growing anxious and frustrated and her offered his help. Thank God for him. He spent hours deleting over 36,000 emails from that email account, and seeing  “0 unread emails” on my screen was the most liberating feeling I’ve had in a very long time.

I felt a burden lifted. And so my journey to a decluttered life was resurrected.

Fast forward to today and the beginning stages of this “journey” aren’t quite what I expected. I’m running into road blocks in confronting things I never considered needing to purge. Cosmetics. Nail polishes. Venturing into other rooms like the kitchen and the garage. Oh the garage. I guess I imagined it being this big prolific moment where I would go into my closet and start packing things into bags, and an hour or two later I would be left with a neat, simple Pinterest worthy wardrobe. No mess. No junk. No clutter. Just a simple space and a clear mind. I’m learning that this journey to minimalism is definitely… a journey.

Let’s be honest, my version of minimalism isn’t typical. I’m not going as far as limiting myself to a certain number of pants or shirts. I’m not For me it’s all about living simply and valuing Thing’s I’ve always believed but haven’t reflected in my day to day life because I have children, or a man who likes hoarding collecting things (sorry babe), or crazy tendencies to form random clusters and piles of things because I have a million projects floating in my head that never get completed. Then of course there’s the “what ifs” we share. I’ll keep this “just in case” I need it in the future. I’ll hold on to this as my goal dress because “what if” I can fit it in a few months? Guilty. These are things that I don’t want to hold onto any longer. I’ve always been the person who values time and experiences over material things, and in some humbling way, having less really helps you realize that sometimes that’s all you need. That less really is more.

So with this modified version of minimalism, I want to really emphasize one thing. I am not becoming an extremist. I am not placing any rules or restrictions upon myself or my lifestyle. I am simply making a conscious effort to keep a healthy balance in my life, by accumulating less and valuing more. I am committing to putting more time and energy into myself and my family. I am committed to only keeping things that we absolutely love and those that bring us joy.

I am hoping that this journey brings a clearer space both physically and mentally, because Lord knows I can benefit from the two.

Stay close loves, I will be updating you as I go!