The Real Reason I Chose to Transition to Natural Hair (Four Times)

Something has been heavy on my mind for a while now. There is so much negativity in the Black hair communuty, and while I care not to focus on the bad, I do want to address one thing- my reasons for going natural (four times).

I’ve always considered myself a chameleon.  The only thing constant in life is change, and I genuinely find satisfaction in learning,  growing, and yes- changing. As I start to see women around me change and embrace their natural hair, I find it pretty awesome and inspiring. Unfortunately, some of the hair nazis -I will call them, for lack of a better term- don’t agree. Separation is now forming between the life long naturals and the ones who are “jumping on the bandwagon”, the girl who colors vs the girl who doesn’t, and there are even texture wars. And all this for what?

I know my healthy hair journey is no less important than the girl’s who has been natural all her life. I also recognize that me coloring my hair doesn’t make me any less natural than the girl who has never touched  hair dye in her life, or any more than the one who bleaches like its going out of style. I refuse to believe that using drugstore products should be condemned, in comparison to the girl who uses only shea butter, juices and berries in her hair.

You hair journey is what YOU make it.

I never “joined a movement” because I was displaying a form of self hate by relaxing my hair. Embracing my curls is not a political statement, right of passage, or extremist move. I loved my relaxed hair. I’ve big chopped, relaxed, and big chopped several times for one reason and one reason only- I love change.

My healthy hair journey didn’t start when I stopped relaxing my hair. My quest for longer, stronger, healthier hair began when I learned that I controlled those factors by practicing healthy habits. I never relaxed my hair as a means of assimilation. I never had distorted standards of beauty or believed that straight hair was more beautiful. I never envied Caucasians for their hair texture. The reason I stopped relaxing my hair is because I wanted to.

I don’t endorse “team natural” (or any team for that matter) because I feel like the extra separation in the Black community is so unnecessary. Why should I choose? Who are these hair nazis that are demanding that I “pick a side”? Wearing my hair curly doesn’t imply that I’m anti-relaxer, and vice versa. The word “team” implies that we are in competition,  and in my eyes, there isn’t one. I admire the characteristics of my hair in every state. I love the springy spirals that grow from my head. I love the way they shrivel up and clump together, and I love that they have a life of their own. Not to be mistaken, I love my straight hair too. I love the way it falls, and sways in the wind. I love the way it frames my face and gives me sass. The difference is that now I understand that I don’t need to use chemicals to obtain versatility- but if I choose to, that is my right. This is MY hair journey.

All coils everything.

The best of both worlds- straight natural hair.

Straight like That.

After a few times of transitioning back to relaxed hair, I’m natural once again. Is the fourth time  a charm? Will I remain natural forever? Who knows.

This time around, I made the decision to embrace my natural texture to set an example for my daughter. Not to teach her to hate relaxers or condemn those that use them- but to show her that she doesnt HAVE to resort to them. I want J to look in the mirror and see that her curls are beautiful. Its important to me that she loves her curls and learns from mommy, just how to care for them. I want J to grow up with all the tools and confidence to genuinely love and nurture her hair. I want her to see the beauty of her hair in any style, texture, and state; I want her to see the beauty in versatility. And I want that process to start by showing her to love and appreciate her natural texture first. What she decides to do with her hair is HER decision. If she decides to straighten her hair, more power to her- she is not her hair. I know I’ve done my part by teaching her the importance of loving yourself unconditionally. And to me, that’s all that matters.